"O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall proclaim your praise." It sounds like a simple request, but in truth it is my great and constant struggle. Plentiful are the words rattling around inside my brain. So few escape my lips, however. What is it that keeps my mouth closed: fear or righteousness?
"O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall proclaim your praise." We live in a target rich environment for a prophet. I feel such a tremendous urgency to speak out on behalf of my brothers and sisters. But does this pressure arise from my having words they need to hear, or am I more worried about missing out on my fifteen minutes of fame? Whose kingdom do my words seek to serve and praise?
"O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall proclaim your praise." Why do you delight in saying no to me? Start a new religion? No. Reform an old religion? No. Sell some books? No. Do one little miracle, just one to get some attention? NO! What is the point of opening my lips? No one cares to listen. Am I meant to babble into the void, leaving a trail of words for someone not yet born to follow?
"O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall proclaim your praise." Am I crazy to delight in a "yes" to that last question? I remain on Twitter mostly for the photos taken by the residents of the International Space Station. They remind me of the difference between the great and the trivial; and that my Parent plays a very, very long game. I am a fool taking his at-bat. Let Them worry about the score.
"O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall proclaim your praise." This shall be my mantra for these next forty days. I do not expect them to be anything other than the great and constant struggle of the many preceding ones. But I do pray that they bring a renewed love for my wonderful cross.
"O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall proclaim your praise."
On a side note, today is also Valentine's Day. And so I dedicate this post to my wife. It is my meager attempt at expressing some of the internal dialogue that I have such a hard time sharing, to our great frustration. Thank you for your patience with my very strange calling. I love you!